LEADING A PLEASANT MARRIED LIFE – AN ART
Professor Arsalan, Rawalpindi 

“Love does not mean that you adore only a specific trait of one’s personality. Love should rather be in totality with entire characteristics of persona. Commend your partner’s qualities by admiration. Mention shortcomings, but in a mild & most appropriate manner && while doing so, your behavior should never be harsh.

YOUR WIFE – MISS WORLD: Leading a pleasant married life is like an art. It is an art of harmony & cooperation. If a man desires his wife to be as beautiful as miss world, correspondingly the wife also has the right to wish for a good looking, h&some& faithful husb&. However, in real life it usually happens that we do not achieve what we crave for. Nevertheless, it is much possible to transform the life partner into our perceived ideal through mutual cooperation, affection & cordiality, both in terms of attitude & nature. Once you have selected someone as your life partner, as a first step start loving & adoring him/her. Do not only praise & appreciate his/her qualities, but also refrain from expressing your detestation & displeasure for shortcomings. Love does not mean that you adore only a specific trait of one’s personality. Love should rather be in totality with entire characteristics of persona. Commend your partner’s qualities by admiration. Mention shortcomings, but in a mild & most appropriate manner && while doing so, your behavior should never be harsh. Everybody commits mistakes. But this does not mean that you loose control on every major & petty matter & remain annoyed.
It is quite common that we endeavor our best to criticize shortcomings of our life partner. Whereas we usually disregard his/her qualities & positive traits & do not even make a mention of the same. According to a psychiatrist, people normally like those who admire their qualities. Therefore, never try to prove or display that your are smarter, more intelligent or superior than your companion. If your partner is facing any deficiency, it is your responsibility to bring him/her to your standards. Love is not limited to physical satisfaction, but it should also entail mental, spiritual & moral harmony.
Keeping under consideration the following points & adherence to these advices & instructions mentioned below, your married life will indeed improve, become pleasant & conflicts will eliminate.
Work, Work & Work: Most men give priority to their work & career in comparison to their wives & children. In order to make happy & please the boss, they spend more time working in offices. But remember, life is not only meant to keep the boss & office happy; it is actually much more than this. If you remain engrossed in office affairs to an extent that you start overlooking even small happy moments of your wife & children, it means that you do not exist for them. Or in other words, your being or not being is equally alike. Hence after retirement from job when you will mostly be staying home & also strongly need their company, they will remain distant from you as well. Hence keep in mind that with whom you share your joys. Remember happiness amplifies when shared. How would you feel in such times of solitude? Imagine the depression & grief you have to undergo. Thus, it is necessary that you do your utmost to maintain a balance between your job & family life.
Necessities:It is equally important to look after necessities. You must bear in mind your partners’ needs & take care of them. Married life is not one-way traffic. It is true that husband& wife are like two wheels of a cart, but it is also essential that their pace is also synchronized. A renowned social theorist states that one sided victory between two partners is not possible. They win or lose together. Necessities of men & women are not similar.
Money is not everything: For men sexual satisfaction, entertainment, friendship (with wife only), love & attention are the most important features of life. Likewise in case of women focused attention, safety, support, financial & social securities are their top precedence. Many men believe that only gorgeous outfits, jewelry & plenty of money are sufficient for women. Wealth of course is important, but there are many other things more important in life. For example, when a man returns home from work, he generally remains silent. Whereas a woman wishes to chat with him on all sort of subjects.
Stop day-dreaming:Never presume your life partner to be an ideal. Try to underst& human values & neglecting of deficiencies. Doing so, your life will become trouble-free & amusing. Hence never get angry on petty nature issues.
Separation:It is quite likely that you may not agree with the fact that excessive intimacy can also become irritating. Separation between partners for day or few days develops importance for each other & it makes one realize how imperative is companionship with the other. Initially when joint family system was a strong feature of our society, brief separation between couples was also a common trend. A wife would stay with her parents for a while especially during festivals etc. Yet the bond of love between husband& wife continued to strengthen.
Health:
If you walk regularly in a park or garden, take your partner along. You do not have to work hard for the same. This is not only a healthy activity but will have lasting effects on your relationship. Additionally, work out have positive effects on sexual strength which is most important for a joyful married life. Though it is true that love cannot be termed only as sex, as a matter of fact sex too is an important aspect. You can also practice Yoga for good health. According to a research, sexually satisfied couples enjoy overall health as well & remain protected from many ailments. You may term this as sex therapy.
Ego:This is a very dangerous element. If your partner is adamant on an issue, being arrogant & continually refuse your point of view, do not immediately make it a matter of ego. The best way under such circumstances is to remain silent. You will see that after a while or a few days later that your partner will realize his/her mistake. This will prevent your married life turning into a disaster.